In today’s world it is especially hard for some people to be in a relationship with so much going wrong around them. They are afraid to get hurt, be alone, used, tossed to the side, treated like garbage and even in some cases loved. Some of you may have been raised in a very strict environment, others may have been forced to take a leadership role in the house and grow up much faster then other kids or worse you grew up alone to begin with. Either way you look at the scenario’s they can all bring the same thing, a heavily guarded lifestyle. I am not saying that is a bad thing by any means, so please do not read it the wrong way. If you are looking for a relationship or are currently in one that is struggling then you might want to look at yourself and see if you:
- Very Controlling – Do you always feel the need to be in control of everything you do? Either choosing where you go to eat, what movie to see, what friends the two of you hang out with or even when and where you have sex if at all. You do not need to make all of the decisions, so let your guard down and let other take some control over situations as you may find out you like what they do.
- Closed Like A Book – Are you afraid to open up fully with someone? How can you build trust with one another if you keep your thoughts, feelings and experiences closed like a book to them? Open up to them and you may see that sharing those things is like taking weights off of your chest making it easier for you to breath. If you can do this and you start to feel emotionally better, just imagine your life a year from now.
- Stop Pushing Away – Do you find yourself pushing people away once they start to get to close to you? You are afraid of any kind of emotional or even physical connection you may have with that person. Living your life alone can and will get boring for most people, that is human nature. Yes you run the chance of having your heart broken, but if you never take chances in life you will not get as far. Broken hearts can be healed, but always being alone because you constantly push people away will be forever. In order to be passionate and in an intimate relationship, it requires an open heart that does run the risk of being hurt or broken. No risk, no reward.
- Start Building – Was the Roman Empire built in a day? No it was not, it took time. Some people are afraid of rejection, being left, falling in love and or having their hearts broken they never start to build any kind of relationship. From an emotional standpoint it is actually a good thing to go out and interact with other people and start building some friendships or even a new relationship. How can you find that new relationship or special someone if you refuse to start building? You have some of the pieces already (YOU) to start with, go look in the mirror, smile and say lets start!
Dating is not always smooth as those nice silk sheets, and keeping your guard up at all times makes it even harder not only for you but the other person as well. Letting your guard down and getting over that initial difficult hump makes the end reward even better for the both of you. It all comes down to FEAR, if you can come to grips with yourself on them and let your guard down, it will make your dating life much easier.
Changes like these will not happen overnight or even in a week. Be patient with yourself and if you are currently struggling in a relationship talk to your partner and ask them to be patient with you. If they truly love you and want to be with you, they will be more then willing to help see you get through this. Doing it together will just make your relationship that much stronger. You need the self confidence and to tell yourself you can do anything if you just put fourth the effort and determination. You are helping yourself in more ways then one, which over the course of time will benefit your life even more and not just in a relationship.
What fears do you have? Let us know in the comments below and see if we can help you get over them!