When scheduling sex is mentioned to someone or a couple, the first thing many say is “I do not have time for that” or “I am to tired to add more to my schedule”. Yes spontaneous sex is great, when two people share intimacy together like when they first started dating or before the kids were born. However, with busy careers, kids to take care of or just a hectic lifestyle sex gets put on the back burner or turned off all together. Some of you may be sitting their thinking “why would I want to schedule sex, that is not sexy or erotic”. Other people may think that by scheduling sex that they are being forced into doing something or making it another task or job. That is looking at the small picture of things, but the bigger picture is igniting the passion you either once had or are looking for in your relationship.
Sex and intimacy is vital to a healthy relationship, very few people can say they would be perfectly happy with their partners if they had little or no sex. Sex is not only healthy for your body, but a great stress relief, sleep aid (if done right) and even a pain reliever. Having very little or no sex in the relationship can lead to disagreements, fights and even ending the relationship all together. Here are some reason why you should schedule sex for the sake of not just you and your partner, but your relationship as well.
1. Anticipation – This is one of the most erotic feelings you can have as either a man or woman, anticipating and thinking of everything that could happen on that magical day. With anticipation comes dirty thoughts, ideas, what you want to do together or maybe what you just want to do to him or her sexually. These feelings can last all week long or just build up that morning when you wake up knowing what is going to happen that day or night.
2. Preparation – Knowing the day and time is also nice to know due to the fact it will give you time to prepare yourself, the room, or other place you have prearranged on. Being clean, well shaven and groomed makes a person feel sexier and more desirable to their partner. Wanting to wear something special or him or her, well now you know when to put it on or bring it out as it will be on your schedule. This adds an element of surprise and may make your partner want you even more. The same goes for the room or environment, it will give you time to set anything up you feel you may need to get the mood just right. Candles, flowers, hot bath, lotions and massager or anything else you may want to use during this special time will be ready because it will be on your schedule.
3. Best Time – You and your partner get to pick the best times that will work for the both of you. Remember, being tired should never be an excuse to not be intimate with one another. If she likes it in the morning and you are more of a night person, you both need to compromise and reach an agreement on what time is best. The other thing you can do is alternate times with your partner. How often you schedule sex is up to you and your partner, few times a week, once a week or once every other week will need to be worked out. Play a sex game to determine the frequency, that may be fun all by itself.
4. Concentration – With sex being scheduled, it allows alone time for the both of you so you focus and concentrate just on each other. Turn off the TV, cell phone, computers, put the kids to bed, lock the door or do whatever you need to do so that scheduled time will allow for 100% concentration on the moment. A lot of times couples use dishes, laundry or dirty house as an excuse not to have sex. With a schedule you can have all of those things done ahead of time, or know you can do them later on so you can focus on that special time with your partner.
5. Exploration – With #1 and even #2, it gives you time to think outside your normal box for sex and intimacy with your partner. This exploration can lead to new sexual activities that both you and your partner find pleasure from. You may think of new fantasies or sexual fantasies fulfilled with one another by having a sex schedule and all of the anticipation running through your body. This sexual exploration is a great way to open new doors with your partner on positions, techniques, introduction of sex toys, bondage or other things you may have never thought was sexually enjoyable. Do not be afraid to bring up your ideas or fantasies with your partner, as you may find that you both like or want to try the same thing.
Scheduling sex may not be for everyone, but it is advised by many relationship experts and sex therapists to at least try it for a few months. Every couple needs to do what is best for them. Life can get busy and sex can be forgotten about all together so setting up a schedule or “date” is a great idea. It is better to try and save your relationship by creating a schedule rather then your partner either cheating or leaving the relationship all together from lack of sex and intimacy. We are all human and many feel that sex needs to be part of a healthy relationship.
What are your thoughts, do you schedule sex?